Approaching General Conference...

Maybe I'm a total Metho-nerd for this, but I am excited about the possibilities coming up with General Conference this year. As a probationary elder, I wasn't eligible, so all I can do is pray, and watch, and pray some more.

With all the changes going on in our society, with the rise of post-modernism and Emerging generations, it would be easy to run scarred, to throw up walls of "It has always been thus." Yet the history of Methodism in America has been one of adventure, moving with the people into new frontiers. Out of the safe colonial cities, and into the wild West. Is it not time to do the same today, to travel with the citizens of this New World, and give them the Gospel in a new, wild & untamed land?

What does that mean for us today? Maybe that's why we've taken to the Emerging Church Conversation so readily, because we were a pioneering group at our founding, and still have that latent heart within us...to carry the Holy Word of God to new lands, new cultures, new and different generations, where other churches fear to go.

True Methodists don't say "Come to us, our doors are open." They say "The people are out there, on the frontier. We will go with them into the wild, bring God's love and transforming power to them."


So maybe it's time to saddle up that circuit riding horse, dust off our riding gear, and head out with the wagon trains. We don't have to be caught up in the lawlessness of the New West...maybe we can bring it some grace instead.

Dealing with disagreement

Col 4:6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

I've picked some bad fights in my day. By and large, they have not been physical. But I tend to get drawn into arguments, particularly about theological and spiritual matters

These arguments usually end up falling into two camps: really bad, or really good. I seldom have an in-between experience. Either I feel like people are really listening and at least thinking about what I have to say, or I leave feeling verbally cut in two.

One of the really bad ones I got involved with because a church member (not here) recommended a website where he had been reading about all kinds of heresies in the church today. Upon checking out the website, I found that they spoke very negatively about teachers and authors that I had learned a great deal from. And many of the things they were saying were either false or gross exaggerations. In reading one of the articles, my blood started to boil, and I made my way to the comments line to defend one individual's beliefs and intentions. This turned into a rather long battle, across several different topics, by the end of which I had been compared to Satan for believing dialog was a useful tool for Christians, and having made no headway with anyone. I've tried to avoid the site ever since.

The only (so far) really good one started under similar circumstances. I was looking for discussion groups on theology, and found a group who again had a very different set of beliefs. Upon reading in the group, I found very similar problems...bad information and exaggerations. But this time, perhaps wary from previous failures, I took a different tack. I emailed the group's leader, and started asking questions, and offered to be a resources for better information, as I owned books from several of the authors they were concerned about. This began an email exchange, a new friendship, as we learned more about each other, and realized that though we have some big differences in some areas of belief, in others we were quite similar. When I did join in the discussion with the rest of the group, I had an ally in the group's leader, even when we disagreed. We tease each other as we discuss, and I have found several of the other members of the group to be very reasonable. We even took a break from debate to pray for one of the members who was going through a very hard time in life. Although there are still tense moments in our discussions, I get the feeling I am discussing amongst friends.

We all end up in disagreements now and again. Yours may differ from mine in terms of content. They may be about beliefs, or about treatment of others, or about wrongs done to one another, or ways to run an organization. But I bet we've had some similar experiences none the less. You've had some times where you had a disagreement with someone that left you feeling raw and beaten down. You've left a conversation you thought you were having with friends unsure of the future of the relationship.

So how do you end up having a good conversation? Some of the differences come in how the other party handles the disagreement. That, sadly, you cannot control. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, they will react in a hurtful way towards you.

But there are some things you can do, to try and handle the situation the best you can:

1. Ask yourself...”Is this needed? Will someone benefit from this conversation?”

2. Gage your audience. Will this person be receptive to what you have to say?

3. Resist the urge to flinch. Take the time to thoughtfully respond to what is said, rather than reacting. This can make a world of difference.

4. Really listen to what the other person has to say. They may have had experiences that give them a totally different view-point on the situation.

5. Respect the personhood of the other party, even if they don't respect yours. They too are God's Creation, whether they realize it or not. Treat them how you would want to be treated.

6. Give and take. Be willing to admit when the other person has a point.

7. Know when to bail out. Sometimes a conversation ceases to be fruitful. Know when it's time to stop, even if just to step-back and breathe.

Conflict is inevitable, but it doesn't have to be a bad experience. It can be an opportunity to grow, to be challenged, even to build stronger relationships. May the conflicts that come your way be the good ones!

Answering the Whispers

"What was that?" Sammy rolled over in his bed. It was the whispers again, same as the night before, and the ones before that. He wrestled with the thought of tip-toeing across the hall again, to wake his folks, to get some comfort. The whispers didn't scare him so much. They seemed to be kind. Gentle. Like they were coming from his mom or dad, but they had decidedly ruled that out a week ago, when he had first awoken them under similar circumstances. After the first few nights of this, his parents had wearily asked him to stop waking them up in the middle of the night. They didn't believe him, he was sure of it. He though he heard them whispering about special doctors they might take him to, to cure his "en-som-ne-ya," whatever that was. So he just stopped saying anything. He rolled onto his stomach, and tried to fall back asleep.

It was only an hour later when the whispers came back. He though this time about yelling back. Why wouldn't they let him sleep? But what would he say? Please go away, crazy whispers? Yeah, right. His parents already thought he needed a doctor. What if they heard him? No, there had to be something he could do. Then a vague memory fluttered into his imagination. A Sunday school flannel-board story, with a little boy named Sam, just like him. He heard whispers at night too! It was way, way back when he had heard that story. Almost a whole grade ago!! But he could still hear Miss Keenan's voice, as clear as if she was there. "Then Eli realized it was the LORD who was calling the boy. So he said to Samuel, "Go and lie down again, and if someone calls again, say, `Yes, LORD, your servant is listening.' " So Samuel went back to bed." Sammy flopped onto his back. Well, it couldn't hurt! And something deep inside of him cried out to give it a try. The whispers began again. In a timid little voice, he whispered back "Yes, Lord, your servant is listening."

For the first time, in the midst of the whispers, Sammy clearly heard his own name...

*****

God calls to us in a lot of different ways. When He does...will you listen?

1 Samuel 3:1-10

What is Lent anyway?

I was in a Christian bookstore the other day, purchasing some oil to mix with the ashes for Ash Wednesday. As I struck up a conversation with the clerk, and explained my purpose, she confessed that she had no clue what Lent was, since her church never practiced that. I kind of take it for granted, having been raised as a very traditional Methodist, that people understand our various traditions, and it's always good for me to be reminded not everyone has had the same experiences.

So what is Lent anyway? To most folks, the practice begins and ends with giving up something for 40 days that you feel like you either like too much or need to have out of your life. Many people who do practice Lent do so out of habit as much as anything else, and give up chocolate (the eternal favorite), television, video games, caffeine (ouch), or some other thing out of a sense of obligation. It is interesting, when we look at Lent just as giving up something, how our attitudes sour. It is no surprise that Ash Wednesday is preceded by Fat Tuesday in some cultures (Mardi Gras), with people packing in all their indulgence they are going to miss into one day, before the 40 days of misery begin.

But what is the point of giving all this stuff up anyway? While emptying oneself is a critical component of many of the worlds' religions, in Christianity it takes on a deeper purpose. When we give up one thing, it is to make room for another. When we empty ourselves, it is with the point of filling that space with Christ. Fasting of any form, without something to fill in the gap, is an exercise in utter misery. But when you give up a meal to pray, or to give the money you would have spent to the homeless, or to commit to God that His priorities are more important than even the hunger of the stomach, then your sacrifice has purpose, meaning. When you turn off the TV to make time for prayer, or Scripture study, then it takes on new life. It isn't just obligation...it's opportunity to find a deeper walk with Christ. Even if what you give up doesn't take any time, it should have a purpose.

So if you give up something for Lent this year, put something in it's place too. Don't just make yourself miserable...take an opportunity to draw closer to Christ instead.

Happy New Year!

Is anybody else having trouble believing 2007 is gone? There's really should be laws against Father Time speeding like this. It's amazing to think of all that has happened in this last year. This time 365 days ago, I was in an entirely different state, with very different responsibilities, and slightly whiter weather. So much has changed, so much has happened. I'm sure each of you feels the same for your own reasons.

New Years' usually becomes a very self-reflective time for me, evaluating the victories and failings of the previous year, and making plans for the next. And yes, New Years' resolutions of various kinds. At some point towards the end of the year, I was looking at areas of my life I wanted to improve in. The mistakes I had made weighed on me, and I found myself wanting to just shut-down the rest of the year, and get a fresh start in 2008. It's silly, I know, but I was overwhelmed with how many ways I had messed-up in the year behind. Expectations of myself I had not lived up to. And it truly grieved me.

The prophet Jeremiah once faced things which gave him similar grief. Especially as he saw how the Lord had disciplined him for his own sins and faults, felt a heavy weight upon him. His inner turmoil is recorded in Lamentations 3. Look especially at verses 20-23, and how things turn around for him.

My soul continually remembers it and is bowed down within me.
But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Christian singer Carolyn Arends put it this way:

I buy a lot of diaries
Fill them full of good intentions
Each and every New Year's Eve
I make myself a list
All the things I'm gonna change
Until January 2nd
So this time I'm making one promise
This will be my resolution
Every day is New Year's Day

With God, every new morning is a new chance to make things right. When we look a thoughts of long-term change, it can be very scary. Yet when we look at each day as a new chance to follow God, to overcome temptation, to make a difference in the lives of others, to love everyone around us with an amazing self-sacrificing love, it becomes a little more manageable. We will mess-up from time to time. But if you are willing to repent and ask forgiveness, each day with God can be a fresh start.

The year of our Lord 2008 is rife with possibilities. You get 366 new mornings this year (one more than last year!). 366 new days to wake up and say “Today, I will live my utmost for God.” 366 new days to get it right. 366 new days to loose weight, or call your parents more, or spend more time with your kids, or write that novel, or blog consistently ; ), or to give your all to God. How are you going to use this next morning? And the next one? Enjoy the opportunities. They are God's present to you.

Happy New Years!