Experience as Retreat

The experiential is a dimension of almost every renewal movement in Christian history. And likewise there is a natural counter-progression in our history:

Charismatic=>Organized
Spirit-led=>Structure driven
Revelation (or reemphasis on previous revelation)=>Tradition
Equality in leadership roles=>Rigid roles and segregation

From time to time, we have to turn back, reexperience, renew, refresh. It's like a "retreat" for whole religious movements. Mountain-top experiences renew us, bring us into the presence of our Savior, call us to face our fears, our inadequacies, our priorities, so we can return to life in a new way. Many retreats climax at moments of spiritual "crisis," calling for one to make a decision and more forward in life a transformed creature. I find in my own life I need a healthy dose of these experiences to correct for spiritual drift in my own life.

But as with any mountain top experience, we can't stay there. Retreats and pilgrimages are but way stations on our journey, and then, having had the experience, we head back out, walking life's road until we start to dry-out, harden, calcify, and need out heart "strangely warmed" again.

I wonder if the Emerging Church Movement is a retreat for the global (or at least Western) church. For many churches and Christians are feeling dried out, drifting from their course, hardened and cold, and need the experience with Christ to restore their passion and heart. But then Emerging, like the mountain top, is a temporary experience. One which should change us, reset our course, renew our hearts, challenge our fears, inadequacies, failures, priorities. One which should re-introduce us to our Jesus, and call for a crisis, a decision point. Deconstruction is one such challenge, one that is often laid by reformers who see the current structure to be built with the wrong materials. Revisiting how God has worked in our collective past (a theme for many of my own personal retreats) is another. We can't stay on this mountain and pitch tents, as Peter wanted to. We have to come down, there are demon-possessed folks needing our help.

Retreat, return. Retreat, return. Whether Reformation or Great Awakening, we needed it in the past. Maybe God has provided yet another, if we are willing to journey with Him.

Approaching General Conference...

Maybe I'm a total Metho-nerd for this, but I am excited about the possibilities coming up with General Conference this year. As a probationary elder, I wasn't eligible, so all I can do is pray, and watch, and pray some more.

With all the changes going on in our society, with the rise of post-modernism and Emerging generations, it would be easy to run scarred, to throw up walls of "It has always been thus." Yet the history of Methodism in America has been one of adventure, moving with the people into new frontiers. Out of the safe colonial cities, and into the wild West. Is it not time to do the same today, to travel with the citizens of this New World, and give them the Gospel in a new, wild & untamed land?

What does that mean for us today? Maybe that's why we've taken to the Emerging Church Conversation so readily, because we were a pioneering group at our founding, and still have that latent heart within us...to carry the Holy Word of God to new lands, new cultures, new and different generations, where other churches fear to go.

True Methodists don't say "Come to us, our doors are open." They say "The people are out there, on the frontier. We will go with them into the wild, bring God's love and transforming power to them."


So maybe it's time to saddle up that circuit riding horse, dust off our riding gear, and head out with the wagon trains. We don't have to be caught up in the lawlessness of the New West...maybe we can bring it some grace instead.

Dealing with disagreement

Col 4:6 Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

I've picked some bad fights in my day. By and large, they have not been physical. But I tend to get drawn into arguments, particularly about theological and spiritual matters

These arguments usually end up falling into two camps: really bad, or really good. I seldom have an in-between experience. Either I feel like people are really listening and at least thinking about what I have to say, or I leave feeling verbally cut in two.

One of the really bad ones I got involved with because a church member (not here) recommended a website where he had been reading about all kinds of heresies in the church today. Upon checking out the website, I found that they spoke very negatively about teachers and authors that I had learned a great deal from. And many of the things they were saying were either false or gross exaggerations. In reading one of the articles, my blood started to boil, and I made my way to the comments line to defend one individual's beliefs and intentions. This turned into a rather long battle, across several different topics, by the end of which I had been compared to Satan for believing dialog was a useful tool for Christians, and having made no headway with anyone. I've tried to avoid the site ever since.

The only (so far) really good one started under similar circumstances. I was looking for discussion groups on theology, and found a group who again had a very different set of beliefs. Upon reading in the group, I found very similar problems...bad information and exaggerations. But this time, perhaps wary from previous failures, I took a different tack. I emailed the group's leader, and started asking questions, and offered to be a resources for better information, as I owned books from several of the authors they were concerned about. This began an email exchange, a new friendship, as we learned more about each other, and realized that though we have some big differences in some areas of belief, in others we were quite similar. When I did join in the discussion with the rest of the group, I had an ally in the group's leader, even when we disagreed. We tease each other as we discuss, and I have found several of the other members of the group to be very reasonable. We even took a break from debate to pray for one of the members who was going through a very hard time in life. Although there are still tense moments in our discussions, I get the feeling I am discussing amongst friends.

We all end up in disagreements now and again. Yours may differ from mine in terms of content. They may be about beliefs, or about treatment of others, or about wrongs done to one another, or ways to run an organization. But I bet we've had some similar experiences none the less. You've had some times where you had a disagreement with someone that left you feeling raw and beaten down. You've left a conversation you thought you were having with friends unsure of the future of the relationship.

So how do you end up having a good conversation? Some of the differences come in how the other party handles the disagreement. That, sadly, you cannot control. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, they will react in a hurtful way towards you.

But there are some things you can do, to try and handle the situation the best you can:

1. Ask yourself...”Is this needed? Will someone benefit from this conversation?”

2. Gage your audience. Will this person be receptive to what you have to say?

3. Resist the urge to flinch. Take the time to thoughtfully respond to what is said, rather than reacting. This can make a world of difference.

4. Really listen to what the other person has to say. They may have had experiences that give them a totally different view-point on the situation.

5. Respect the personhood of the other party, even if they don't respect yours. They too are God's Creation, whether they realize it or not. Treat them how you would want to be treated.

6. Give and take. Be willing to admit when the other person has a point.

7. Know when to bail out. Sometimes a conversation ceases to be fruitful. Know when it's time to stop, even if just to step-back and breathe.

Conflict is inevitable, but it doesn't have to be a bad experience. It can be an opportunity to grow, to be challenged, even to build stronger relationships. May the conflicts that come your way be the good ones!