Feeding Sheep or Picketing Wolves?

Well, we've reached the end of June, or as I like to call it, the month from crazy town! After Annual Conference, the Princess and the Pea, VBS, a wedding, the babies' birthday (complete with two parties, one involving a road trio to Tampa!), I was reasonably sure my article this month was going to be "borrowed" from the Bishop's blog again. But then I ran across this quote in an article two friends drew my attention to, that I thought was worth discussing: "When Jesus asked Peter if he loved him, and Peter responded yes, Jesus didn’t tell him to picket the wolves. He told Peter to feed and tend his sheep."

The article, written by CNN religion blogger Jason Locy, was in reference to the Church's approach to gay couples adopting, was proposing that if each church in a particular denomination would support one family adopting a child out of foster care, (instead of just protesting) and put it's money where it's mouth is, then there would be no kids getting bounced around the system without a permanent home. The article, posted by friends of mine who're also adoptive parents, argued that if we spent more time taking care of people, and less time fighting the culture (or each other), we would do much more to accomplish the goals of the Kingdom than picketing against homosexuality, abortion, or whatever.

Our church probably has a higher per-pew rate of adopted or foster kids, both children and grown-ups, than I've even seen. Or maybe I am just more aware of it here because of Bobbi's work at the Children's Home Society. So I think we are probably well invested in that form of care-giving. But I think there are, as always, deeper questions we can ask

As with many left-right polarized issues, this is an oversimplification of a much more complex issue. At the root, it's kind of a classic conservative-liberal debate...which is more important to the kingdom, the teaching of holiness, or the transformation of society? The two are not mutually exclusive, although limits on time, people, and money may make it difficult to do both at the same time. And so denominations and churches tend to specialize, or at least lean to one side of the spectrum or the other. Some are very vocal about issues of morality in terms of personal actions and choices...the aforementioned issues of abortion and homosexuality, drunkenness, drugs, all sorts of things, although deeper heart sins such as anger, rage, malice, slander, and such aren't as popular to talk about. Others are very active in social concerns such as helping the poor, civil rights, immigration reform, and of course, adoption policy, although sometimes these seem to follow cultural trends, or call on other organizations to do the care giving (such as the government). Again, these do not exclude each other, but for some reason, groups that focus on one do not often speak out about the other. Which is unfortunate, because there is much good to be done in the kingdom, and although each group, the same as each individual, has things they are better at than others, it leaves us with lopsided views of Christianity, and what is important to God.

If you take the quote one step further...Jesus told Peter to care for His sheep...but isn't part of caring for sheep defending them from wolves? Teaching our people to know what's God's will for their life, and what isn't. And showing them what is utterly dangerous for their souls and even their bodies.

Now mind you, there are a lot of sheep in wolves clothing...and no, I didn't write that wrong. It can be easy to forget that the people we are arguing with and picketing against are just as much God's creation, just as much in need of grace. It's easy to characterize them as wolves, and demonize them. It's another thing to interact with them knowing God has a plan for them too. Now yes, as another friend of mine pointed out, Jesus was rather hard on the shepherds who should have been taking care of the sheep, and on false prophets, whom He did call wolves, who would take advantage of His Sheep. But even these, though we must exercise caution around them, are still individuals whom God wants to bring into right relationship with Him.

A balanced Christianity cares for it's sheep, all of them, by providing spiritual sustenance (Scripture teaching, worship, prayer, etc), teaching them which pastures are safe to graze in and which have wolves (training in knowing true Christianity from false and understanding the life of holiness), and tending to hurt and lost sheep (evangelism, caring for the poor and orphan and widow, prison ministry, etc). Again, I probably oversimplify here. But it is so easy to narrow our focus, and to so to an extreme. To be so busy preaching outward morality that we forget that all of that must be undergirded in love. Or to be so focused on righting the wrongs of the world, and we forget to right the wrongs in our own souls.

Jesus said to care for and feed His sheep. But sheep have a lot of needs. Let us remember all of them, as we go about the business of being Christ's church.

Blessings on your journey!

Of Language, Lenten Discipline, and Lousy Attitudes

Happy Easter-tide! Now that we are on the other side of Easter, how was your experience? Was Lent a formative time for you? Or just another Spring? I'd like to share a previous Lenten experience with you, and talk with you about where we go from here with the growth we have done.

One Lent, felt a conviction to give up cussing. Yes, those of you who feel embarrassed when you "cuss in front of the preacher," I have struggled from time to time with language too. So did Martin Luther, actually. So one year, I tried giving it up cold turkey.

Hardest. Lent. Ever.

As it turned out, this was a very stressful year in my life, and apparently the vigorous release of a naughty word had been some sort of coping mechanism for me. A mechanism which I was not nearly as ready to give up as I had hoped. There is series of scenes in the movie "Airplane" where Lloyd Bridges' character realizes, under great stress, that he picked the wrong week to quit smoking, drinking, and a variety of other bad habits. I felt like I had picked the wrong Lent to quit cussing.

Honestly, that year was my worst commitment to a Lenten discipline ever. Like a good Pharisee, I could manage to keep from cussing in front of others, no problem. But when I was by myself, and stressed, or angry, or otherwise in a foul mood, the words would just start flying. I was particularly fond of stringing several together in a row, making a nonsensical sentence that would make a sailor blush. Towards the end, began to realize why I needed to give this up, and it was about much more than just my selection of vocabulary.

You see, the words themselves only have the power that we give them. Most "cussing" actually falls into three categories: (1) "Rude" language, (2) Swearing and invocations, and (3) Actual Cursing. The first is usually comprised of words for common things, such as bodily functions or parts, which are considered impolite or inappropriate. Many of these were once actually acceptable to a particular people group, but as invading groups came in, such as the turnovers between Celts, Anglos, Saxons, and vikings in Britain, the conquered people's version of the language was considered uneducated, rudimentary ("rude"), common (in Latin, "vulgar"), and unacceptable. So where there are polite and impolite words for a thing, such as common bathroom activities or intimate actions, this is often evidence of the layers the English language is made of.

The second group usually involves the use of the name of a deity, or some other object which is called as a helper or a witness to the truth of a matter. So using God's Name in vain would be the most obvious, but more socially acceptable words such as "gosh" (a reference to the Land of Goshen, hence also "my lands!", substituted frequently for the Name of God), or usually anything starting with "by" and a name ("by George", "for the love of Pete", and "gadzooks" also fall into this category, the former two invoking saints, the latter "God's Hooks", a term of questionable origin). These are either derived from calling on help from God, or calling on Him (or another figure) to back up that what you say is true.

The third group, cursing, would be invoking eternal damnation or other punishments on the object of your wrath, such as the sofa or cat you tripped over in the middle of the night. Again, there are suitable alternatives offered by the English language, depending on the company you are keeping.

If you think this stuff fascinating, check out Mother Tongue by Bill Bryson. He's got a lot of good stuff about the English language in general.

So what is appropriate language and what isn't? Well, we could probably get Pharisaical about what words are and are not appropriate, and such thought has brought us these substitute words such as "darn" and "shoot" which seem better. But the Gospels propose a better solution I think. Perhaps not directly, but by principle. As we went through the Sermon on the Mount earlier this year, we noted that Jesus would often take a strict code of law, and challenge his listeners to get the heart of the thing, curbing lust in one's heart rather than just not fooling around with the neighbor's wife.

Back to my Lenten commitment. I began to notice certain attitudes were prevalent when I was in the mood to cuss. Anger, negativity, bitterness would prompt the aforementioned four-letter-words, all of which are repeatedly condemned in Scripture, and do not contribute to love of God or neighbor. What my Lent was revealing to me was my own bad attitude was the deeper problem underlying my vocabulary choices.

So what about your lent? My hope for you is that you were able to get at some deeper issues than just an addiction to chocolate or Youtube. Maybe you can take some time now to ponder why it was you gave that up. Perhaps it provoked some feelings over Lent that you can now take into the light of Easter-tide (the season between Easter and Pentecost). Maybe it showed you how you use food to fill another need, or the moods that inspire you to dive into Wikipedia for hours at a time (or is that just me?).

Whatever the case, journey on Easter People!

And, since language and "Airplane" both came up in this post...just for fun...

God's Own April Fool

April Fools Day is honestly one of the best days to be on the internet. Many of the companies whose services I use are fond of elaborate pranks, which always turn out to be entertaining. Google is particularly good at this. One year, Gmail lost all it's vowels. Another, they were starting an internet service that would run cable through the sewers and up through your toilet. Google Documents promised you could upload anything you wanted to their storage servers, including your keys and furniture you needed to move across town. Youtube set all their Featured videos one year to run Rick Astley's hit “Never Gonna Give You Up” instead. Car and Driver Magazine's site one year claimed President Obama had pulled funding for NASCAR. I imagine by the time this is published, there will be some other goodies to add to the list.

April Fool's may seem an odd thing for a pastor to write about. But when you think about it, maybe it is appropriate. Scripture tells us that “The joy of the Lord is our strength,” (Neh 8:10) “A joyful heart is good medicine,” (Prov 17:22) and that “The wisdom of the Cross is foolishness to those who are perishing.” (1 Cor 1:18) And of course, my old friend Steve's favorite...”If we are out of our minds, it is for the sake of our Lord.” (2 Cor 5:13)

Philip Yancey wrote in his book The Jesus I Never Knew about a figure he called the Prozac Jesus. This is the Jesus who appears in most movies. He's calm, serene, tranquil, British (why are they always British?), and acts like He's had all emotions except peace stripped from Him somehow.

Michael Card, in his song “God's Own Fool,” paints a better picture of Christ, and I think a more accurate one:

It seems I've imagined Him all of my life

As the wisest of all of mankind

But if God's holy wisdom is foolish to man

He must of seemed out of His mind

Even His family said he was mad

And the priests said a demon's to blame

But God in the form of this angry young man

Could not have seemed perfectly sane.

The problem comes when we start to imitate the Prozac Christ, rather than the real one. We get it in our heads that true worship is calm, serene, “reverent” (meaning quiet, inexpressive). I have had some great opportunities to worship with other ethnicities than my own, and other denominations as well. I've been able to pray with Koreans, worship with Hispanics, and listen to numerous African-American preachers. One of the best worship experiences I ever had was at a concert of the Christian rock band Third Day, when they were still new enough to be playing skating rinks. I have become increasingly convinced, after these experiences, that us Northern-European-Americans just don't let our joy and exuberance out enough! Energizing songs like “Days of Elijah” become the exception, not the norm, of our worship experience. An enthusiastic youth jumping up to dance to a praise songs elicits raised eyebrows, rather than inspiring the rest of us to join in.

Jesus could not have seemed normal, mundane, ordinary, if people were making accusations of drunkenness and demon possession to explain his behavior, or that of the early apostles for that matter. So come be a fool for Christ, and let His Joy invade every bone in your body. I think you'll find your faith stronger for it.

Blessings on your journey!

Online Safety for Families

A little too long ago, someone had asked me if I would be willing to teach a seminar on Internet safety for families. It got back-burnered, as many good ideas do (like this blog, for example...), but I'm realizing for a lot of reasons the need for just such a thing. While I'm working up details, and preparing for kids of my own, I just wanted to share a few principles with you that will aid in managing your family and the computer.

Disclaimer: My parenting experience is limited to pregnancy at this point, so please don't think I'm telling you how to raise your kids. I'm new to the parenting stuff. But I have been around computers my whole life. No, I can't help you fix your laptop/iPod/XBOX/VCD/8-Track, but I have been around the Internet and computers enough to pick up on a few things.

1) Access goes both ways. The ability to reach out across vast distances has opened up a great wide world to our kids. It's also opened up them to that world. It goes without saying that your two year old isn't ready to cross the street yet, and your eight year old isn't ready for that solo trip to the mall. The Internet is a lot like the mall, actually. You have access to all kinds of cool and interesting and fun stuff. But that access goes both ways. And just the same as you monitor your child's access to the street/public places/car based on their age and maturity, the same should be true of Internet access. Your first line of defense is limiting the devices they have access to. It's very easy to get on line with a wide variety of gadgets besides the family computer now, including cell phones, video game systems (such as newer versions of the Nintendo DS, which I see almost everywhere now), and even some music players. Know what devices can get to the Net, and limit your kid's access to them. And remember, although your kids may be better at figuring out the equipment, you're still the one with the mature decision-making processes.

2) Be your kid's best friend. On the site Failbook (caution...not always clean), a Facebook conversation was posted where a teenager had uploaded a picture from a wild party they had been involved with. The first response was priceless. It was the kid's mom saying "ISN'T THAT MY KITCHEN???" While parenting books say that being your kid's best friend isn't the best way to parent, being connected to their various social sites IS. By being their friend/contact/whatever, you have access to what they're posting, who they're chatting with, etc. It gives you a chance to monitor what's going on. Some sites allow parents to moderate their kids interactions (chesskid.com is a good example). To be honest, you should probably have your kid's password too, because not every interaction is posted where the public or even friends can see it. If you don't want to deal with Facebook, your kids don't need to be on there either.

3) Learn to love privacy. Every online service worth it's salt has privacy settings, that control how much of your information is available to whom. When your kids get onto a service like Facebook or Twitter, these settings should be your first stop. Some services start out with everything, from birthdate to home address, out in the open. Others default to only allowing your friends access to these things. Dig in, and turn those things down to the bare minimum. It's surprising how easy it is to get information on others through social sites. Be the boss of what people can and cannot find out about your kids.

4) Those who don't learn from history... All browsers (the program your computer uses to access web sites) keep a record of the sites you have visited, called a History. Dig around in the settings and find it. And it IS possible to delete or get around it, so look for odd gaps, as well as for what's there. It's not foolproof, but it's a good way to overview activity.

5) Be careful, little mouse, what you click. This is just a general tip. Never click a link that seems fishy. If your Facebook-loving grandma just sent you a video of supermodels in swimsuits, you might want to reconsider clicking it. Viruses can get into email and social services via such methods, and then send out the same link/video/picture/slide show to your friends to spread the problem around. Even PowerPoint presentations can contain malicious code that could affect your computer. If someone sends you something that's suspect, don't click it to investigate. Email them and see if they meant to send it to you or not. Or just delete it.

I leave it in your hands to decide how to apply these things, and with what ages. There's a fine line to tread with your kid's privacy, and every parent has to make their own decision about whether or not to read that open diary on the bed. The same is true about monitoring their online interactions. Be too invasive, and they just learn to get better at hiding it. Leaving it all in their hands has it's own dangers. Cultivate an air of open accountability in your family (that sounds vaguely Methodist...), and build an understanding with them early on that you are helping them to learn to navigate the bigger world. At some point, your 16 year old can probably cross the street by themselves, but that's because you've taught them how to make sure it's safe first.

The Internet can be a great place to meet new people, expand your horizons, and learn all kinds of cool stuff. It also, like real life, has it's back alleys and sketchy neighborhoods. Your best tool is not to know all the latest gadgets and services, but to understand the basic principles they all work on.

I hope this helps you in your journey...

The Balance of Self-Discipline

As I find myself sitting down here in Leesburg, FL, at the Methodist retreat center, waiting for my turn to go before the Board of Ordained Ministry, I am pondering a single word: Discipline. Not the kind of discipline where you put your kid in a corner if they are bad. I'm talking about self-discipline.

I imagine many of you have made Lenten commitments or New Year's resolutions recently, to make positive changes in your life. And while we often start out with rather fabulous intentions to loose weight, give up sugar, spend more time with our kids (my own personal New Year's resolution), etc, it takes self-discipline to carry the thing out. Self-discipline means to create an intentional effort, often in repetitive ways, to do or not do something which you hope to achieve/eliminate. You choose to work out three times a week, set a weekly date with your son or daughter, put a reminder on your calendar to call your sister, make a promise to yourself to read your bible daily.

But self-discipline is a tricky thing to maintain at times. It is a balance between extremes. You are choosing this thing of your own free will. OK, maybe your wife wants you to quit smoking more than you do, but if you're doing something about it, you are exercising your free will. At the same time, you often have to put some structures in place, we call them "boundaries", to make sure these things happen. The alcoholic avoids bars, the Bible Reader sets the alarm clock a little earlier, or turns off the TV after dinner, the jogger meets up with a friend to have accountability. Each of these help us to move in the direction of self-discipline.

Now, as with any balance, there are two ways to fall off this particular bicycle (especially if your commitment is to ride your bicycle every Saturday). Take a look at this line below:

Legalism     Rote    Habit   Discipline    Excuses    Rebellion    Chaos
<---------------|--------|-----------|-------------|------------|---------------->
Harder                                                                         Softer

Let me explain this little diagram, Which side you run risk of falling off of probably depends as much on your personality and circumstances as anything else. But essentially, it boils down to this...you either become hardened, or softened.

Here's how you get hardened. You set a discipline. You maintain it for a while, push yourself intentionally to start (or stop) this thing. And it's hard work. But after a while, you start to be able to coast. You don't have to be as intentional about it. It has become habit. You wake up to read your Bible at 6am, even if the alarm doesn't go off. You're in the groove now. And you're not in trouble yet. But now that you don't have to be as intentional, as driving about the thing, here's where the danger lies. Habit is discipline without intention. You don't have to think about the thing...it's just like breathing. But then it becomes Rote. Rote is Discipline without intention or purpose. You started jogging to get in better shape. Now you do it because you're supposed to. You started going to church to get in touch with Jesus. Now you do it because that's what a Christian is supposed to do. Now you're treading tentative ground...because the last phase is legalism. You do it, you insist others do it, and to do anything else feels downright sinful. You've lost the purpose of why (church attendance again comes to mind), but by gosh, you're going to do it, because you're supposed to. The Pharisees frequently fell into this trap. They forgot the purpose of the Law, and it became a burden to them, and they passed that burden on to others as well. The thing you started out trying to do is still a good thing, but it has turned a very dark corner.

How about the other direction? It starts out with excuses. You get sick one week, and can't make prayer meeting. You have a lot to do at work, and don't feel you have time to go jogging. You have a major deadline, and it takes precedence over time with your kids. Circumstances will happen. There will be mornings you get a cold and simply can't drag out of bed. But like bad pennies and dirty dishes, excuses can pile up if left unchecked. Suddenly, a month has gone by, and you've not been to church. It's been weeks since you called your old roommate. You can't remember the last time that you prayed.

Then rebellion kicks in. Maybe this is a different fork of the same problem, but it's worse by far. Because it raises a note of doubt as to the merits of the discipline in the first place. In 6th grade, I had a teacher that made us read 18 fiction books every 9 weeks. That's a minimum of 200 pages a week, on top of other homework. In 6th grade. I was always a voracious reader as a kid. But when I was *required* to do it, that note of resentment crept into my heart. I started counting books I had read last year. I finished only just in time to meet the requirement. And all along is in my head...if I can get through this grade, I may never read again. Rebellion. When we see the thing that we wanted, that we loved, that we were intentional about, as an intolerable burden, and we drop it like a hot rock in August.

Which brings us to the end of that side of things: Chaos. We loose the voice of our original purpose in doing the thing. Things fall apart. Our discipline doesn't hold. Mere anarchy is loosed upon our lives. (Thank you Yeats!) We give up...we surrender. "It's too bad...I really wanted to loose weight...it was just too hard."

Grim pictures both. But here's the rub. Remember what made self-discipline doable? Intention and boundaries. The excuses erode our boundaries, lead to self-justifications and such. The loss of intention brings codification, "it has always been that way," and becomes a burden. But if we keep both...we have what we need. And that takes a lot of work on our part.

So what can we do? (1) Revisit the point of the thing in the first place. Why were we going to quit smoking? Why'd we start reading the Bible? Get back to the point, to revitalize your passion for it. (2) Hold your boundaries. Ruthlessly refuse to accept excuses from yourself. "I've been doing so good," is not a reason to let your guard down. Neither is "It's too hard."

You might need some help along the way. And that's why we have each other. The point of things like Church, like Small Groups and Sunday School classes, is that we were never meant to walk this line alone. We need others around us, who can see through the rationalizations and justifications, and who can remind us of our purpose along the way. That's why we gather together on a regular basis, by the way. Which is itself a kind of discipline.

So if you're not already meeting together with other believers, I cannot recommend it highly enough. You will draw encouragement, strength, and purpose from those around you. And in the process, you'll find yourself moving forward in life, in faith, in ministry, and in your relationships. It's a Discipline worth practicing. No time? That's an excuse. If you really want to grow, you'll make the time. So why not try it? Not because it's what you're supposed to do...but because deep down, you know you want it.

Blessings on your journey, as we walk this road side by side.